What Do you Need to Say No to this Season?

We have a tendency to say yes to everything over the holiday season. Work parties, friends parties, family parties. The dreadful travel across the country for the inevitable in-law dinner that ends up splitting the family for a few days and someone ends up in a hotel for the weekend because they are grumpy.

This then leads us to our question; What are you saying yes to that you should be saying no to?

There is already enough stress and emotions around the holidays, and frankly, we have lost the meaning of what the holiday seasons are about, but that is a whole different topic all together. The holidays don’t have to be so stressful.  In our big picture of communication. We should be on the same page about the things happening or money being spent over these few months.  We can sit down ahead of time and have a game plan and a realistic understanding of the expectations are for the parties, the spending, and what ever. This season my family only has a few more significant events scheduled and a lot of time with family.  But we haven’t said yes to every single invite we have received.   We sat down and looked at our calendar together and planned a couple of things and then left the rest of the time open for family activities and spontaneity. Honestly, most of us guys pack up the car and galavant across town, state and country because that’s what our wives told us to.  But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can chat about what, when, and how to be present in the planned moments this holiday season.

I saw this article on livingwellmom.com  That has some things to say no to this season, and I added some of my own or updated the idea. The link to the original article is below.

Right off the bat, I like this one. Say no to perfect holiday cards!  Inevitably one kid will be looking in the wrong direction, one kid will be making a crazy face, and one kid will bring a friend the might need to be cropped out next year.  (Hint from my wife, put them on the edge so they can be easily removed, lol).

Overcooking: A lot of food will be made and consumed over the next few weeks. But it doesn’t have to be that way.  This past Thanksgiving, we had ribs. Very untraditional, I know, but turkey is just a lot of food, and we don’t all like turkey, so ribs and chicken nuggets with a nice salad it is.  I know there are “traditions.” But there are always a ton of leftovers; if we are honest, most of them don’t get eaten over the following days. Make less food, it might save you money and an overflowing trashcan the week after Christmas.

Craig Groeschel said “GETMO” at the global leadership conference.  Good enough to move on. This is what we need to keep in mind when we are putting up our Christmas decorations. From the edge of the driveway, most people are not going to be able to notice the little imperfections we see when we set things up.  I think the same thing about my car. From 10 feet away, my car is fantastic when it is clean.  But up close, I know where ever chip and ding is, and I know a couple of body panels don’t fit right. But good enough to move on to less stressful things.

Im not going to say a ton about this but don’t beat yourself up about the scale after the holidays.  Strict diets can get blown away, and we can beat ourselves up at the end of the year.  It's ok. You will be ok.   

Overspending: I am incredibly challenged with this one.  I like stuff, and I like to get stuff for others. Especially my wife and kids.  But then I tend to have a grumpy reaction to my credit card statement in January. Discuss a spending limit ahead of time and try to stick to it.  I have discovered that shopping is easier if you make a list and stick to it. Like going to the grocery store.

Do we need to go to every single party we are invited to? I hope not. There are a lot of parties. Family parties, work parties, friends parties. Parties we get an invitation to, from the place our realtor used to work for in some really big house with weird food.  The craziness we put on ourselves sometimes during this season because of overcommitting is a lot.  We often come up to the end of the year, burnt out on life because of it.  Accept the meaningful invitations and pass on the rest.

I am the kind of guy who likes to get it done, and guys generally don’t always ask for help.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  Make a challenge out of some of the activities with your kids. Remember “GETMO” and have fun.

This next topic is a broad one, but it needs to be talked about.  In the hustle and bustle of this season, don’t miss out on immediate family time because of unrealistic expectations,  Take care of yourself and your family and don’t burn out in the first week.

The final thing we should probably say no to is overspending on extravagant gifts.  There is no need to impress people with an expensive gift.  Make it something meaningful but realistic in your budget.  My kids like to craft and make things for Christmas. Or we give them a small budget and take them to the dollar store or 5 below.

Now onto my favorite part. Things you should do this season!

Be in the moment!  At the table around the living room,  be in the moment and not head down on your phone or in your work.  We can miss these moments because we are scrolling through the socials.  If your reading this during family time, come back tomorrow or in January when it's not such a significant time to be with your loved ones and the crazy ones. Participate in what matters most and brings you and your family joy. (Hint: it's not getting in the car and going from family party to family party to some other party).  It’s stopping to watch your kids play,  not just with their new toys, but stopping and watching how they process the world around them in their context.  It's fascinating. Be in the moment. They will pause at some point and say whuuut, and go back to their activities. But just pause.  While you are at it, take a moment and watch your wife (or husband), not just when they are dressed up and have their best on because you're going to a party, but with the messy bun, no makeup, and peaceful moments when they are working on something for the season. (Side note, its fun to do this in July as well.)

Finally, take some time to reflect on this season with those around you, how this year has been, and how you want to be better next year.

The original article from Living Well Mom is here